Singapore Suitcases: Week 28 - Of 'hot & heavy' lunches, Circus Minimus & Valuing the 'good life'!

1. A mid-week lunch date with an old friend from undergrad Architecture school in Mumbai, gave me much food for thought this week.
Over spicy, hot and mouth-watering Sichuan cuisine, with the sichuan pepper doing a great job of lurking around, on our tongues long after it had been bitten into, we exchanged notes on everything - from multi-country living, educational systems, peer pressures to our anxieties and fears of bringing up children in India, in general.

It has made me angry beyond measure - this recent spate of 'rapes' that one hears about, coming from various Indian cities. Like that was not an issue grave enough, the news of 'minor rapes' that has seemed to mushroom offlate from all over the country, has me completely astounded and emotionally wrought up. I cannot get the thought of the 5 year old minor, raped by a neighbour, found in the basement of her own building, in Delhi.
A headline of a news article I recently read, on the daily news site I write a column for, seemingly screamed in my face - "Missing children to get ‘kidnapped’ case status". The article explains how in today's day and age of plentiful cases of minor kidnappings in Indian cities, the Maharashtra government has issued a mandate to all police stations, stating that all 'missing children' cases are to be treated and considered as 'kidnap' cases! In short this means that after a 'kidnap' case is registered, the police will be required to investigate it at once and not according to the usual, unofficial ’24-hour window’ that most police personnel allow for the child to return, or to hear of the child’s whereabouts before starting the investigation.
To me this was minutely positive yet majorly worrisome news alright! It puts to light the existing social predicament of urban children in India, where it is safe to make an overarching all-encompassing generalization that children are not safe! Clearly, cases of minor-molestations/ incest/ kidnapping etc have been occurring through the years when we were growing up in India as well and that it's just now that they are being more actively projected in the limelight, by the victims, their families and the press. 
It is in these trying times that we (Hubster and I) are contemplating moving base to this country, for a few months, with our soon-to-be 2 year old daughter! Certainly it's not going to be easy. As I type, there are probably more innocent, unassuming minors being inappropriately fondled, touched, cajoled and done-what-not-to by their own neighbours, uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters and even fathers for god's sake! (I have spent quite a few hours in disgust, this week as I have read up constantly on 'minor rape' cases, where one news article after another, espoused of incest on behalf of each of the above relationships with a little child. I am amazed 'mothers' are still left out.)
There seems to be no end-solution to this. It is an epidemic that has engulfed our country, which is destroying societal decencies and basic familial relationships! There is no saying who can harm your child in which way, when and how. And no one is beyond the radar on this one! What stayed with me long after I was done reading these articles, was a line that a mother fighting for justice for her 3 year old who was continually, regularly raped by her own biological father, said - "If a 34 year old girl is raped, it could probably be her own fault, if at all (as alleged by several political goons in the country)! But if a 3 year old girl is raped, it is her Mother's fault!"

2. In light of the above fears for the future, I have now begun to value the present, more so! That for all it's sterility, overt-sanitisation, negativities etc etc, if there is one thing you've got to tip your hat off for, to Singapore, it is it's crime control. Specifically, it's anti-theft social structure!
As known to most, theft in this country entails not only a hefty sum as fine, but is accompanied by imprisonment. 
Naturally people are spoilt - for instance they leave behind wallets. purses full of money etc on coffee-shop tables and then casually come walking back to pick them up, a good 10-15 minutes after they first left. There is no sense of "Will it be or Wont it be there?" in their heads. Hence, there is no scurrying back hurriedly or a look for worry on their faces, when they approach the table atop which they forgot their things. At worst, they know, if their forgotten belongings are no longer on the table, they would have found their way to the 'Manager' or other equivalent official's office, for safe-keeping. 
The same logic can be applied in the case of 'Missing Children' here as well. The friend mentioned above, casually related to me three instances of having 'lost' her toddler son, in various areas in this city and having found him back, within minutes, each time. On the first such occasion she recounted, as she called a relative, in sheer despair among tears, wondering what to do, he calmly pacified her saying "It's Singapore. Nothing will happen to your son. Just relax and call the cops." She did exactly that and sure enough - the cops showed up sooner than she could shed another tear and advised her to look within the mall, outside of which she had last seen her son. The boy was found sitting, waiting patiently at the 'Lost & Found' department (How appropriate is that!) where a store official had escorted him safely, having spotted him wandering around the mall looking lost, on a security camera. 
With laws this heavily mandated, against crimes such as theft, shop-lifting, child-kidnapping, pedophilia, rape, molestation etc it is no wonder then, that this place is a safe haven, to bring up children in. Counter arguments can be made to the point that this kind of 'shielded-from-reality-upbringing' might not prepare children to step out into the real big bad world out there, where they will have to fend for themselves and battle the demons in their own lives. But until that day comes, young mothers like my friend, are happy to raise their children here, taking some liberties themselves in the process, of making mistakes that they don't have to pay for, as heavily as they would have to, in some other parts of the world! 
As you can obviously tell, with topics of discussion such as 1 & 2 above and the yummy Sichuan fare, this surely was one 'hot & heavy' lunch, in more ways than one! 

3. Zoe, Hubster and I, had our first collective indoor circus experience at Circus Minimus this weekend. There's something about a stage and our little one. In the presence of a stage or a performance-like arena, she feels the compulsive need to go stand right in the middle and start her own antics. She seems to think stages are meant for performance. Well, I wouldn't say that she's completely wrong. But I don't think she gets, that sometimes stages are meant for *others* to perform and for us to watch and applaud them. That, we don't really always need to be part of the performance. 
The mini-ring of the Circus Minimus theatre was a non-conventional stage of sorts. As the little one went around dancing and twirling bang in the middle of it, much to the "oohs and aahs" of the audience members before the show started, the 'ringmaster' came up to me after a point, politely and smilingly suggesting that I take my "excited little one" off the ring. Zoe has often put talented performers to shame, at every performance she's been to yet; stealing their thunder with her random little antics on what is really their 'stage'. While I am a proud Mommy on account of the fact that this one shows no signs of 'stage fright', I am also a little tired Mommy when we go to shows/ performances/ recitals/ musicals/ plays etc with her, running behind her, trying to control her from getting centre-stage all the time! 
All in all the Circus was a fun act, albeit too short for the whopping sum we paid for it. Since it had traveled all the way from the UK, the ticket prices were ridiculously steep and shockingly adult and kids tickets all cost the same! (I was comparing this to a similar event in NYC where adult tickets would've easily been 1/5th the price of what we paid here and the little one would have got in for free). Going by the pricing, the show should have certainly involved some more play-time and story-telling, for starters. The stuffed animals and props, lighting and sounds being used were imaginative and lent themselves beautifully towards the story-line. The show ended in 50 minutes sort of leaving us wanting for more, especially as Zoe had only just finished introducing herself to the 30+ odd audience members by walking up to each one, sticking out her hand and saying "Hi, I am Yo-Vee..", whether they wanted to talk to her or not. Oh well - it seems like that name plans to stick around for a while! 

4. Our dear friends, Sandi & Amit - also ex-New Yorkers, finally came over for dinner this weekend. We had nailed down a date after a grueling back-and-forth with schedules that didn't seem to work for either of us. That is another unavoidable aspect of Singaporean social life as we've discovered. Life here, for us largely has been about showing friends or family around town or traveling outside of it, when we have no guests visiting us. A lot of our friends lead similar lives in flux here with perpetual visitors or travel itineraries of their own, hence co-ordinating schedules takes some amount of planning, at the very least.  
The evening was fun, spent talking about our present and past lives, the idea of start-up's, Singapore's millionaires and their lives and the school-systems in our three common countries - The States, India & Singapore. Fun laid-back evenings such as these, spent at home with good friends over a home-cooked dinner and wine, used to be an integral part of our lives in NYC. On account of our busy travel itineraries, these are now a rarity and hence cherished tremendously. We hope we get to spend a few more such evenings here, before we bid adieu to this place! 

As time flies, I realize that in a few more months from now, we are nearing the end of our stay here. 
It's funny how one gets attached to life in a new place, over due course of time, as one starts getting comfortable in a place, learning to call a new city their home-for-now and gradually learning the ropes of how that place functions, lives and effectively works. Singapore has been my home-base for the last 8 months only, but I increasingly feel like I am not done with this place yet. Not because I am attached to this city-state in a massive sort of way, like I am to Mumbai or NYC, but because I like how this city has made life very convenient for us, right from day one. That it gives us the ability to come and go as we please, with minimum advance planning, having the best airport in the world at our disposal. That it has spoilt us in a way only Asia can, luring us into the good life one day at a time. That I no longer question why people who move here for a year end up staying for several. And that I know I will miss aspects of it and forever be thankful for having had the opportunity to call it my home - after having dismissed it at first, to see it from such close quarters to be able to actually grow to enjoy and appreciate it!

Thank You for reading!  
Love,
Shweyta

Singapore Suitcases: Week 27 - Of Zoe's Zoo debut, a Rain-forest for a city & a Carefree Parenthood!

1. Zoe went to the Zoo this week. For the first time ever. And behaved like it's no big deal! Oh well!
(The best friend/ Zoe's Maasi (Aunt) who lives in San Diego, California has been insisting that Zoe be taken to the Zoo, ever since she was born. You see, the best friend's son/ my nephew is endearingly called Mowgli, so the jungle with all its animals and birds are really extended family for all of us now. Hence, the best friend's insistence that her New Yorker niece be acquainted with the extended family as soon as possible. Since a trip to the Zoo never really happened in NYC, I heard the bestie sending me a telepathic mental 'Hi-Fi' when we decided that we were going to take Zoe to the Zoo, this week, here in Singapore. The added perk of course was that we were accompanied by the other first-timer family members there - the SIL & BIL who gave Zoe great company on the trip and to us - a break from being her only baby-sitters on a day out.) 
Naturally this being her first time ever, we were excited to take her to the Zoo. We had high hopes of seeing her marvel in delight, squeal in surprise and all those things that children do, at the sight of four legged creatures. (Being quite the animal lover, we thought she's be thrilled at seeing 'real-life' versions of animals, she's only seen this far in books or on Baby TV)
Contrary to our expectations, she seemed pretty ordinarily pleased and mildly shocked at seeing the creatures from her books, come to life at the Zoo. Other than her obvious delight at spotting certain animals, overall she did not seem to think much of the Zoo. It offered no obvious apparent novelty to her, almost convincingly making me scratch my head to wonder if I had taken her to a Zoo in the past perhaps?
This urban baby seemed more interested in pointing out a "Car", a "Bus", even the "Moon" and "Babies" around, even as gorgeous zebras and beautiful giraffes came strolling up close to her. Thankfully for the animals, she did notice them all and call out to each one of them, but with hardly any joy or element of surprise. It was as if she was at home, turning the pages of her animal book as she does everyday.
The trip to the Zoo did seem important once we left the Zoo though. For now, Zoe had seen live versions of animals as against their two-dimensional images and her associations with them seems to have grown stronger (or rather that's what we'd like to think). Still, we think we may have to wait for a few more months (hopefully and not years) before we get that much anticipated gleeful "Wow...." out of her at a beautiful Giraffe. A reaction the Moon invokes, undoubtedly, every single night as she points it out from our window!

2. The Singapore Zoo, as most suggest correctly, is a Must-Do on a trip here. Especially the much-spoken about, hyped Night Safari that seems like a hot-favourite among locals/ tourists alike. The Singapore Night Safari is one of the oldest wildlife night safaris in the world and immensely enjoyable as one sights a variety of animals in their natural habitat, nocturnally going about their respective business. Yet, to a slightly off-the-beaten-track mindset like mine, it appeared as though this was a performance, entirely staged for the viewer, promising to deliver complete value for his money. I wondered if all these animals were drugged into staging their acts, specifically at night, just so the Night Safari visitors could spot them?  Since there were no real visible demarcations, except a glass barricade intelligently designed around the Indian Tiger's cave, it was surreal how animals could actually walk right up to the tram passing through their surroundings. As visitors, there were no 'safety guidelines' that we were asked to adhere to, when seated in the tram, except of course to not get off one while it was running. Inspite of this, it was a little odd that the animals went about their activities nonchalantly, as our noisy tram navigated it's way through the make-believe forest. Just to solve that mystery and to also visit the individual animal trails by night on foot (something we obviously steered clear of doing this time, fearing the over-exploratory aptitude of the little one, that might just land her in the lap of a deer busily chomping away at dinner), the Singapore Night Safari makes its way to my 'Places to re-visit' list!

3. We took the SIL & BIL to Club Street one night - also our very first time there, for Spanish Tapas at La Cicala. The food was great, but the portions albeit tapas, were microscopically small. That's the thing about this city - when they do a cuisine right, they cringe on the portion size. After going to a few Mexican places here, I've now figured the best place to eat a great guacamole and a lot of it, is at home! If you decide to pay us a surprise visit - be rest assured, whether or not you find us at home, there's sure to be a big bowl of freshly made lip-smackingly good guac in the refrigerator and home-made tortilla chips (Yes, I go all out) waiting for you!
But I digress. The thought of good food does that to me sometimes. Back to Club Street! This is another 'party' hood of Singapore, which basically comprises of a lane with many restaurants, wine bars and a few clubs. Among all of Singapore's 'party' hoods that I've been to this far - Dempsey Hill, Club Street, Holland Village, Collier Quay, Clarke Quay, Customs House & Duxton Hill - the last one, Duxton Hill, is my all-time favourite. It could have to do with the fact that it has a non-descript, semi-Tribeca semi-Williamsburg feel to it (Yeah yeah, go ahead and rant on that "Take the person out of NY, but you cannot take NY out of the person" mantra).
But overall, partying out in Singapore on weekends, as one would normally do in NYC, comes at a steep price - often at least twice or more than what one would spend for the same, in the Big Apple. That's just the thing about Singapore that takes a lot of getting used to - the prices on the menu.

4. The little one's class-size at school seems to be expanding/ contracting like it's a living organism of sorts. They started out as a class of three and have now expanded to a class of nine. This is what happens when you live in Expat central. As people come and go, so do their children. As I look back on my friend lists from when I was Zoe's age, I see that I still count most of them as my present-day friends as well. That will not be the case with my daughter, I realise, who sees an influx and outflux of new/ old friends each week.
Teacher Grace - Zoe's class teacher informed me smilingly, that on Wednesday this week, yet again, Zoe insisted on "sharing" (More like "force-sharing if you've seen what she's capable of) snacks with Poppy and then slept in class. All I could think of was Poppy's Mom must pack a mean snack that knocked out even Giant Zoe, right after!
Note to self: Find out what that potent snack was, the next time I meet Poppy's mom and keep it handy for when this little monster decides to drive me up the wall (which happens a LOT offlate)!

5. Singapore is as grey as it is green; by which I mean it is as vertically built-up  in concrete, as it is horizontally adorned by lush green forest-like greens. It offers itself up as one of the few developed cities around the world, where pollution levels are in control and tall skyscrapers compete with huge rain forest trees next to each other. Approximately 50% of the land in Singapore is covered by plants or trees. That is an absolutely enviable statistic for a modern city-state!
As one navigates this city's streets and highways, one is amazed at how buildings alternate with thick wild landscaped areas that resemble rain forests. Even in the heart of the city, where we live, one can always spot exotic birds and hear their chirps and tweets, at any point of time during the day or at night. The most however, that one hears from these birds is at dusk, especially on a particular stretch of Orchard Road (stretching all the way between Somerset & Orchard MRT stations). I like to believe it's because like us humans, they all come back to their nests in the evening, after having led their own individual lives all day. The cacophony that abounds, symbolises the 'catching-up' they do, the stories they relate to each other and news they exchange, after a hard day's work. Much like how our lives function, when we come home from work and yap away to our partners/ families/ anybody willing to listen, our days happenings as we unfold before them what happened today and what did not....This otherwise, beautiful, poetic theory of mine, when put before the Hubster only gets me a pathetic - "Really? Try that story with Zoe. She might believe you. For me it's more like there are a million of you up there. Yapping away to glory!"
*Whatever*

6. We are now what you may call - seasoned 'Parents-who-party-without-their-kids'. Singapore has done that to us! It has given us back our "Pre-Z" lives, as we like to call that phase! It is clear that when we now talk of our next international move, this is the first aspect of our present day lives that appears diminishing in front of our eyes, making us go all skeptical about our move.
Don't get me wrong - It's not like we want to live here forever. But given the option of living here longer, say perhaps another few months - that we might just take, to make the most of our golden times here!
I see now, why people move to Singapore, for not just a few months, but for a couple of years at the very least. Apart from the extremely convenient, safe, worry-free lifestyle, there is a sense of a newly found independence here, especially for young parents, the kind you can never feel if you live on a constant deadline - to be back on time, to relieve the nanny. While it may be difficult to go back to a set-up like the one we had in NYC (of a full-time nanny), it is perhaps going to be toughest to move to Mumbai and try to establish a similar set-up in terms of childcare there, in today's trying times of child-mishap/ accident cases that emerge from India.
Advanced planning, prep-work, research and a word-of-mouth tactic are some of the strategies I plan to employ, when I start my hunt for the appropriate child-care setup for Zoe in Mumbai. Contrary to what a lot of our friend's suggest to us, Hubster and I, are a bit too fiercely independent by nature. In other words, that means that we absolutely have no intentions of taking help from either set of Zoe's grandparents at all (inspite of their offer to do so), even though we plan to live in the same city as them, for a few months in the near future. Hence, we will provide for the perfect case-study for other young parents like us, who plan to follow in our footsteps in making a move (temporary or permanent) to Mumbai, with young children.
I see a big learning curve up ahead when that happens and albeit excited about it, I would be lying if I said I am not anxious about it. Happy in my belief that 'I ll cross that bridge when I come to it' for now we are just gloriously reveling in the comforts of being young, carefree parents who party away joyously and come and go at home as they like, knowing their kids are being well looked after, even in their absence!

7. Swimming has been going exceptionally well. In just about 5 one-hour long sessions with my instructor, I am now the frog I wanted to be. The next step is to fine-tune my FreeStyle technique and  then perhaps move on to the Butterfly stroke. The instructor warns that the Butterfly stroke is extremely difficult to learn, so I am kinda looking forward to taking that up as a challenge.
My love affair with the pool has re-kindled. As if like a drug, the water pulls me towards it, at any given point of time (It's getting a little difficult to withhold the aquatic urge now as there are days when I find myself in the pool, twice a day). Glad that our stay here has brought back this forgotten love back into my life!

Next week brings some lunch and dinner dates with local friends and the SIL & BIL's departure, making it our first week in ages, without house-guests! The house will feel empty for sure as the daughter goes on her "No (insert name of most recent house guest)"...rant again! Time to plan the next itinerary then!
Love,
Shweyta

Singapore Suitcases: Week 26 - Of house-guests galore, a displeased Goddess of Mercy & double birth-date celebrations!

1. Woohoo! The week sees three house-guests arriving on two different days, ensuring a full house at The MD House - Singapore, all week long.
Another fellow villager from the city - Pancham, aka 'Panchy', comes a-visiting this week all the way from Africa, so she can spend a couple of days with us and her little 'laddu' as she calls the toddler. And the SIL & BIL arrive on Saturday, which also happens to be the little one's 21st month birthday.
If you've known me long enough and/ or have been reading my updates, you know these are the last few monthly birthday celebrations here at The MD's, until the little one turns 2. So we're doubling up on the last few '13th celebrations' before we reach her actual birthday on July 13th, as we anticipate a lot of house-guests around that date in the next few months. Obviously, the kiddo is pretty thrilled at the prospect of blowing out candles every few days and I would be lying if I didn't admit that it's the sparkle in her eye and gust in her 'blow' of the candles, that I really do this for. I am all about celebrations! Birthdays have always been my big thing. Glad to know the daughter thinks so too!

2. Panchy arrived late Tuesday night and was adamant on defeating her jet lag from having crossed three different continents in the past 24 hours. Since she was here in Singapore for barely two days, we (She & I) decided to make the most of her time here and see the city, in snippets of how she'd like to see it. She arrived armed with a list of 'Must-do's' in Singa-land and we set about trying to check those off, while making sure I slipped in a few 'Must-do's from my list as well.
Having played hosts to quite a few house-guests here, Hubster and I have come up with our own little two/three or five day packages of touring in and around the city-state, of course depending on the type of traveler and their interests. Needless to say, we throw in a handful of must-do restaurants/ cuisines as well in the mix for both vegetarians and non-vegetarians.
The highlight of Panchy's visit over the couple of days was two-fold - our conversations that transcended from anywhere between global-living to random start-up ideas and her amazing ability to connect to Zoe, whom she was meeting for only the second time ever. In the two days that she spent with us, we spent a lot of time just playing plain old catch-up and making new connections - with friends of friends - shrinking our already shrunk worlds, even more.

3. Hubster and I took Panchy to 1-Altitude for panoramic aerial views of Singapore & even Malaysia in the far background on Wednesday night. Compared to Ku De Ta - the now infamous boat-shaped rooftop of the Marina Bay Sands building, 1-Altitude offers 360 degree views from a higher elevation. The music seemed to be unnecessarily loud. A fainter score in the background might have done wonders to the ambience as the spectacular views added more than enough charisma and character to the place. We discovered, as in the case of most Singapore bars/ clubs - Wednesday nights are usually 'Ladies nights', thus making the otherwise pricey drinks slightly more affordable for the regular gal. And of course the term 'cover charge' in Asia, as I remember it from my days of club-hopping in India, thankfully entails full redemption of the 'charge' towards the purchase of a drink, unlike in the States where it really is just a charge to enter the club.
Singapore being as peanut-sized as it is, an all-encompassing aerial 360 degree view is the best way to see the city-state, especially when visiting here on a limited time frame. A definite recommendation on my things-to-do list for this city!

4. The most intriguing and informative aspect of Panchy's visit came about, when I took her to view my favourite Chinese Temple in Singapore. Hubster and I had chanced upon this temple one of the weekends, when we walked over to it after eating brunch nearby.
The temple is called The Kwan Im Thong Hood Cho Temple and is dedicated to the Chinese goddess of Mercy - Kuan Yin Bodhisattva. We were enlightened that day that the Chinese pantheon like the Greek one, also has several similarities to the Hindu pantheon.
Ever since Hubster and I have chanced upon this temple, it has been my favourite Chinese temple to take any of our visitors to. Unlike the other better maintained and more touristy temples in Chinatown or other areas, this one is visited largely by the locals. (Most come here to pray for good luck or specifically solve certain problems in their respective lives.)
The unique technique of worship here has been my biggest draw to this place. As is the case with Hindu temples, worshippers stand outside the temple where incense sticks (agarbatti's essentially) are provided so that these can be lit and used to worship the temple from the outside and the sun - which is usually prayed to with one's back to the idol (a practice unlike at a Hindu temple, where one does not turn one's back on the deity). Locals enter the temple with their footwear on, making sure to take them off only when stepping over a large square red carpet, centrally located in the temple. Wooden sticks also known as 'Kian' placed in brass containers and two red shell halves are handed out at a counter inside the temple. The worshipper takes one of these and kneels on the red carpet, facing the idol of the Goddess of Mercy. He or she first mentally introduces himself/ herself to the Goddess, telling her their name, address and particular problem they are seeking a solution for. Then the container is shaken until one stick falls out onto the red carpet. The fallen stick has an inscription on it, which may or may not be the solution to the person's problem, as decided by the position of the red shell halves, when thrown over the carpet. In what sounds like a perfect analogy to the 'chaupad' one knows of from having seen or read the Mahabharata, the red carpet in the temple, looks like a large archaic casino of sorts, where one sees hordes of Chinese worshippers gamble away their fortunes. (Considering they make for such great gamblers, the scene looked fit for a direct comparison with a casino). That was naturally the drift my anthropological mind made, on witnessing this rather synchronised worship-phenomenon.
The existence of a 'life-problem' is verified based on how the red shell halves have fallen (the two halves need to fall with their opposite faces on top - for example if these were coins, they would need to fall such - one 'heads' and the other 'tails'). The wooden chopstick then needs to be taken over to the counter, where it's inscription is read by the temple associate who hands out a pre-printed English translation of it, to the believer.
The above understanding of this technique of worship was all thanks to Panchy, who intrigued by the sight of the red-carpet worshippers nudged one nearby to seek a description. A temple associate who explained the process of worship to us, instigated the two of us to pick up two brass containers and give it a shot ourselves, in the process perhaps identifying the 'problem' in our lives at the moment. In a funny conclusion of sorts my life seemed to be 'problem-free' as the red shell halves always fell 'same side up'. How convenient! It looked like the Goddess had seen through my 'act' - where I was doing this just for the kicks of it and she was in no mood whatsoever to encourage my 'non-belief' for sure. Panchy on the other hand was dismayed looking at her 'life problem' and what the Chinese Goddess of Mercy really thought of her and we walked out pooh-poohing the whole episode!
A big part of celestial devotion comes from belief. And as we walked out of the temple that day, we realized that if the belief is in one's own self, then celestial devotion renders itself unnecessary.

5. Thursday evening was spent strolling along Singapore's waterfront, which brings mental glimpses of Newport, Jersey City back into my life. The only difference was - the spectacular sky-line at the other end which stood for much more than just New York City, in the latter's case. Here in Singapore, the waterfront curves and turns non-linearly and offers different vantage points of the city, depending on which turn you're at. It also articulates some brilliant examples of art and architecture along its route, making it slightly more glorious than the Jersey City waterfront. That is the power of Water and Architecture. When they come together, they re-imagine the most banal of settings into becoming powerful non-erasable patches of memory, that linger in the mind long after one has physically left their shore. The Singaporean waterfront definitely makes a mark, perhaps the most profound mark yet, in the picture postcard memory of this city.

6. We wrapped up the evening with some great sangria at Nueva Cuba in the Customs House area of the city (slowly becoming my regular weekend haunt), with an entourage of friends - some new, some old and all young global citizens, having lived and worked across a few continents. That is the quintessential description of almost anyone who we have come across/ met in Singapore. Most people we meet here - through friends or are from our previous lives, have almost always moved here after having lived in at least 2 or 3 other countries before. The stories and the experiences they bring to the table are often as enriching and exotic as the food one finds here, at times. It is a pleasure and a privilege to be in this company, during our time here, another aspect of Singaporean life, that is so typical of this city-state and yet starkly unique from the global traveler that one meets in the West perhaps, on account of third-world exposure and travel.

7. Panchy flew out early Friday morning, much to the surprise of a quizzical Zoe who woke up to find "No Panchy" as she scanned the entire house for her newest play-mate. Panchy's only advance request for the course of her stay with us was that she wanted to celebrate Zoe's monthly birthday while she was visiting, even though it was a day or two earlier than the 13th.
So on the day before she flew out - Panchy and I made Zoe's birthday dessert of the month - an open faced Apple Tart, adding and subtracting ingredients as we felt like it, in the process. A delighted Zoe blew out a candle multiple number of times that evening as we all sang "Happy Birthday" to her out loud. And on that note Panchy flew out, a few hours later, promising to see us again soon, perhaps on her side of the world, this time around.

8. Our next set of guests - the SIL & BIL from Mumbai, arrived early Saturday morning. That night I baked more Apple tarts to celebrate Zoe's 21st month with them. That lucky little one gets to do another double-celebration next month, as two of her Mommy's closest friends are in town in May!
The weekend was spent doing another one of our weekend quick tours with the SIL& BIL around town. The week ahead sees them take off to Sentosa for a couple of days after which they come back to yet another line-up of sight-seeing/ food-spotting around town with us. The little one is naturally thrilled at the idea of a full house this often and new playmates back-to-back, what with the endless pampering, multiple candle-blowing sessions, gifts galore and getting to pull everyone's strings with her little finger.

See you next week, for yet another rendition of what happens when, where and how, in our current neck of the woods!
Stay well!
Love,
Shweyta

Singapore Suitcases: Week 25 - Of Delhi dilemmas, manic markets & potential love-affairs!

1. We landed at the fabulous IGI Airport. This was only my second time in the new building and I already liked what I saw. Indian cities are finally getting their much-deserved share of international-level, smooth-functioning and well-built doorways to the world. Most of these city airports commission art work from local artists which adds the unique contextual flavour to their design; an initiative also taken up by the CSIA for the newly built Mumbai Airport. The key factor in keeping this image of these city's airports, is maintaining them well. And Delhi seems to have done a good job with that. In general, even the city of Delhi appears to be cleaner than Mumbai, as does it's Metro where one can try looking for red 'paan stains' but hardly find any, as I found out, during my time there. The city's streets are wide, people honour lanes relatively and litter is not as prevalent. Infrastructurally speaking, the capital city works better than Mumbai.

2. Yet when I landed, I must confess my mind immediately unfurled it's antennae - the sixth sense for predators, that which all women are born with. For I knew I had landed in the city of disrespecting men, the city of rapists. Pardon me for being so general there and for the harshness of that sentiment. But I am being honest here. Being an outsider/ visitor, that too a girl/ woman in Delhi, this is the first emotion that ran through my otherwise rational, not-one-to-generalise-so-quickly kind of a mind.
As Hubster and Pops stood waiting at the baggage claim to grab our bags off the belt, I found myself staring at the locals around with a suspicious eye. As I held my daughter's hand, I couldn't help but think how many of these loud locals (A big group of men were fighting with an airline representative over their baggage) had come close to that four letter word, every girl is so wary of - 'Rape'? How many of their neigbours, sisters, mothers, wives, girlfriends, daughters had been assaulted - mentally or physically - in public by local idiots? Eve-teased on their way to work or school, grabbed and touched in wrong places or simply whistled/ jeered at in public?
I am sorry Delhi and I am sorry Delhi-ites. Some of you are my friends and I love you. But I will never be able to see or experience your city in the same way as I might like to. Hats off to my single girl-friends who live there, for I know they are doing something I could not. Rather, I would not, if I could help it.
There are moments when I want to fall in love with your city, but there's always a fear looming over my head. A fear, that tells me that I need to be overtly-cautious, extra-suspicious and too careful when I walk around here. That is not the emotion I am used to, being a Bombay girl. My city may not be flawless and completely clean, but I feel safe in it. At any hour of the day. With anyone who I speak to. And in most places I go.
I don't need to hide my fears behind an air-conditioned car that comes to pick me up or drop me off because the public transport is unsafe for me to use, in the evenings. I don't need to think twice before wearing what I want to, on a regular day in most parts of the city, afraid that I'll have people trying to grab my body parts or letch at me.
I am only partially in love with you Delhi, because for every nice guy I meet in you, I meet another one being a jerk. Love can never thrive amidst fear. So as much as I'd like to fall in love with you for your monuments, your rich heritage, your markets, your food and your beautiful confluence of languages and cultures that represent the country so beautifully, I must say I cannot. To me you're still not as clean as I'd like for you to be. I prefer my Mumbai's dirt over your physical cleanliness. At least in Mumbai the dirt is largely only on the outside.

3. I know I got a bit carried off there, but it is indeed the feeling Delhi aroused in me, on this visit. It could be because I was making this trip, after the new rape incidents that have occurred in the city, over the last few months. With the city expanding it's outer limits to gradually engulf parts of Punjab, Haryana, Uttarakhand, UP & Rajasthan to form the National Capital Region (NCR), there is no time better than now to start to instill a new mindset among its populace. For boys and men to understand and uphold the honour of girls and women.
To decrease the burden of migration-led population explosion on Delhi, the Indian government decided to build Noida and Gurgaon as adjunct residential and industrial areas around the capital. Noida, which was developed to house population growth of the next 20-25 years was overloaded in just 15 years, thanks to the massive influx to Delhi. Thus, Greater Noida was developed, 50 kms away from the heart of Delhi. Presently, as our taxi driver told us, there are talks of a 'Super Noida' being developed on the outskirts of Greater Noida as well. I wonder if in this game of sprawl, Delhi will one day reach Mumbai? Hubster got special brownie points when he innocently (?) asked the driver if Super Noida should have been named "Greatest Noida" as per the Normal-Comparative and Superlative degrees in Grammar? Trust Hubster to come up with random sh*% like that!

4. Most of our time in Delhi was spent - well commuting, considering we were based out of the city completely. Yet, due to their inter-state connectivity, our ride into and out of the city was never longer than an hour. In our three days there, we visited multiple markets - my favourite sights in this city. Dilli Haat was the first one - a personal favourite that I end up visiting each time I am in the city. The food at Dilli Haat, just like it's artefacts, jewellery, antiques, clothing and everything else, provides for an excellent representation from all parts of the country. We opted for some yummy momos from the Sikkim food stall followed by succulent kababs from the Lucknow food stall. Since Mom, Pops and Hubster were with me this time, we had enough hands and eyes to take care of the little one, during our time there.

5. A dear friend, part of 'The Village' entourage - our group of friends from NYC, works for Human Rights Watch (HRW) and lives in the Hauz Khas neighbourhood. We visited her beautiful and huge home to spend the afternoon resting/ chatting at her place, exchanging notes on life outside of NYC and expat-living in the cities of Delhi & Singapore. The friend and the little one re-bonded after months of having met each other, (the last time they met was perhaps in NYC).
A memorable recommendation made by our friend was to visit the Deer Park in South Delhi, close to her place. We were pleasantly surprised by this vast, urban, patch of green, bang in the middle of the city, which housed several deer & peacocks within it. It was the perfect evening, as the cool breeze set in due to the greenery around. We strolled along the meandering pathways of the park, through its various areas to reach the part where several deer & peacock are confined behind small ledges. As our friend had correctly remarked to us, there were quite a few offenders feeding the deer, inspite of huge signboards instructing them not to do so. Trust desi's to defy signboards, that too when they are standing right in front of one!
The little one was thrilled to wake up from her afternoon nap and find herself in a jungle of sorts with deer and peacock prancing around. She probably thought it was a dream. Then again, the rate at which we shuttle her around, she's probably used to it by now. A unique way to spend an afternoon in Delhi for sure. Highly recommended!

6. As is always the case with us, we like to eat our way through most places we visit. Delhi was no different, since Hubster and I both are massive foodies and absolutely in love with Delhi's street food. Yet, we could not find the time to visit a must-do on our list - Paranthe waali gali. Going there with the entire family was on the agenda, but a last minute change of plan, made us cross it off the agenda completely. Naturally, it gets top priority on our next visit! We did however get a chance to dig into great Mughlai and North Indian fare at various restaurants and 'dhabas' during our short stay there. So for now, that should help us sail through until the next visit.

7. Hubster chose to move to his hotel in Gurgaon, close to his place of work, after the first night, to avoid the long commute. So the next couple of days saw Pops and I, making a trip into the city while Mom and her grand-daughter spent their days with each other, at home.
Khan Market and Paalika Bazar were the two other markets we visited. Both completely opposite in nature to each other, hence great choices to interact with the two of many faces of Delhi. Khan Market is the supposed go-to spot for rich, well-off and expat residents, who come here to shop for their favourite foreign brands or simply stock up on their western supplies such as cheeses, breads, jams, coffees and baking goods. Targetted towards the higher class of society, this market also has some good restaurants and cafes where one can find the random tourist sipping coffee with his/ her Delhi socialite friend (the one sitting next to us was too loud, cursing away endlessly, making Pops and me cringe, with her monstrously fake laughter, that had seemingly jumped right at us from Page 3 Delhi Times). This was at the Latitude cafe - above the Good Earth Store. Thankfully Ms. Loud socialite left in a few minutes after we arrived, so we could have our afternoon tea/ coffee over mildly-toned, father-daughter conversations and a fun walk down memory lane.

8. Palika Bazar, situated in the heart of Connaught Place, is the poor man's underground shopping mall. And it is completely air-conditioned. So naturally in Delhi's heat, one can find regular pedestrians stroll into the space, sitting around on benches or squatting on the steps, all in an attempt to evade the heat outside. It is here that one interacts with the common Delhi-ite. Brought into effect by the efforts of the New Delhi Municipal Council, this market is described to be in a state of decay at the moment and hence undergoing regeneration work. Here one can find everything possible - from hair pins to pirated/ stolen goods. I was happy with my one find - a beautiful stark white Chikankari kurta, here.
Once done with the market place, we drove around India Gate and Sansad Bhavan with the driver giving us his tit-bits on each. Both Pops and I have been to Delhi a few times in the past and seen it's multiple landmarks and historical sites, yet the magnificence and the aura of them still amazes us. One of the things I like about Delhi is how in an oddly flat skyline, while driving on any of it's highways or even in it's Metro, one is suddenly surprised by the emergence of a random historical monument, that completely revamps the tone of the otherwise banal view from the moving window. That to me is the quintessential Delhi moment - the kind to which hopeless romantics like me lose their heart to!

9. The short trip to Delhi ended with a red-eye flight that we took back to Singapore. The toddler loves shocking us, with her sudden energy levels at midnight brought forth through the realisation that she is at one of her favourite places in the whole world - the airport. Just being in one, be it anywhere in the world, gives her a strange insurmountable energy, probably at the prospect of where she is flying to next. She did finally relax after a point and go to bed, which made the flight easy on us and spared us the aisle-walks and sheepish smiles to random co-passengers, that both Hubster and I are already so tired of.

The rest of the week was spent recuperating from the India-trip in Singapore and prepping up for more itineraries - some our own, others of friends and family that will visit us in the next few weeks.
Cant wait to have everyone over - the inner hostess in me is somersaulting already!

On that upside-down note, see you next week with more fun updates! Happy Reading!
Love,
Shweyta

P.S - I am sorry to be so hard on your Delhi. I don't hate you. I just don't love you like I love some others. Believe me, I really want to. We - you and me, have potential. You just need to work a bit harder and get clean. Make me feel safe and sound and I'll be all in then! Hoping we'll be hopelessly in love someday soon!